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Ramblings
Ramblings
Even though people are constantly reminding me of everything I'd always do for
her, without even thinking.... I still feel so darned guilty about what I didn't
do for her... like fix up her (our) house instead of buying my computer/guitar
toys. I'm a lazy bum at home. We were both pretty lazy for a while. We both
commuted 40+ miles each way to work, in heavy traffic, for several years. By the
time we got home, we were beaten to the point of saying.... "Just show me where
I can go to sleep for a while". My Mom used to joke with us that... the only
reason we're still together is that we're too lazy to find someone else <g>..
well, when we moved closer to work, her laziness went away but mine stayed (for
the most part).
The nice things I did were things like... for over 15 years, she woke up to the
smell of a piping hot cup of coffee next to her and.... more recently (only a
few years), made sure she had a cold glass of water next to her so she wouldn't
need to get up at night for a drink (she had a nasal problem / allergies that
would force her sleep with her mouth open and, of course, get 'dry mouth' at
night).For about 8 years, I've been a "Claw Machine" addict.. we had this
restaurant we'd go to and I'd clean out their claw machine on a regular basis...
no matter how silly the little animal was, her eyes would light up like a beacon
when she saw them... she'd even get a little 'ticked' when I'd see a little girl
walking around and give her a couple before I came back to the table. She
(well... I) now have about 200 of these little critters stuffed in every nook
and cranny in the garage, bedroom, etc, etc.. Eventually, I guess I'll donate
them but right now, every one has the memory of a huge smile attached to it so I
can't give them up.
When she'd make a grocery list, the last thing on the list was always "A
surprise for me!" or "A surprise for Terri!" ... sure enough, she got
"something", every time out... sometimes, it was something silly like a Tonka
Truck or some other toy for a young boy... Still, I picked it out, so it was
gold as far as she was concerned. The lady at the store used to crack up at the
things I'd buy and sometimes she'd say "Don't buy that dumb ol' thing... here's
something she'll actually like". Everyone we interacted with saw the love in our
relationship.
When ever I went to McDonalds or any other fast food place that sold "Kids
Meals", I'd grab one for her so she'd get the toy.... regardless of her actual
order.. If she didn't want the food that came with the Kids meal, we have 2 - 80
pound dogs to 'take up the slack' <g>
As mentioned before, our Son has been amazing throughout this ordeal. He's a
Youth Minister and his church really came through for him... which is one thing
I've learned about church... regardless of religious beliefs, a church provides
a great source of support in times like this... I've been twice now and I'm most
likely returning next Sunday evening... everyone's so understanding there. I
just wish I'd have been going with my wife for all of the years she asked me to
go... note that even though she didn't attend, she still had friends that she'd
call and toss bible verses back and forth.. her favorite lady was a Jehovah's
Witness. They'd go over the differences in their beliefs and trade/discuss
verses for hours at a time... my wife was never at a loss for words, that's for
sure.
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